It's funny how once you put your intentions into the universe, the universe conspires to work to support you. I find now we are surrounded by people so supportive of our dreams, willing to share their own wisdom, stories or their dreams. It is a wonderful gift, focusing on all the beauty and possibilities the world has to offer. It feels so fresh to try and look at the world with child like innocence, full of wonder and limitless possibilities. Having a child has reignited this passion for seeking the beauty in the world, but I realized I too can seek it for myself. Just because we are "grown ups" doesn't mean we have to put blinders on. We have an amazing friend Rob who truly exudes 'light' and beauty, because that is what he seeks in the world.... I hope to follow in his footsteps.
We have a couple coming for dinner tonight, we know the wife through work and she's excited for our husbands to meet. They seem to be kindred spirits when it comes to the dream of sailing and come to find out they have been following the same sailing blog for YEARS now ( www.projectbluesphere.com ). It will be a fun night, talking about all the amazing possibilities ahead of us, and to support each other in making our dreams a reality!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Celebrating tonight!!
I officially passed my Maritime Radio Operators course tonight! Woohoo ! I was flitting around here like a nervous little jenny wren all day trying to cram as much studying in during nap times as I possibly could. I'm happy to say it payed off. It feels so good to have that under my belt and to feel like I could truly handle a distress situation (technically) if it were to occur. It is amazing, it feels like it is a whole different world out there on the water. So much to learn and experience. It is both daunting and exhilerating all in the same breath. The type A side of me wants to know all that needs to be known, to have it all perfected. Then the other part of me wants to embrace the idea of a lifetime of learning, of never truly knowing 'it all', letting go of the need to control my environment and to release myself into the experience of it all. It reminds me of falling in love with diving, in the beginning you're so concerned with the technical aspect of it all, but then once you are immersed into the beauty of the sea it consumes you. You are no longer a separate being, but a part of this immense living being with millions of enchantingly intricate webs, which in the end connect us all.
Lately I feel like a sout piel (I am loosely using this Afrikaans slang word ) which is (my interpretation) when you have each foot firmly planted in a different land mass and your whoo haa dangling in the water. We are steadily working away on our to do list, one for the boat the other for the house. Somehow though, you just feel spread way too thin..... streeeeeetching with each foot firmly planted in different places. Making you feel pretty vunerable though with your do dads dipping in that cold water. I just want to slide my feet together, create a new little island to stand on (warm those bad boys up) and live conciously in ONE place, so I can fully appreciate it for all it has to offer. I do feel so grateful for the beautiful house we live in and all the wonderful comforts it provides, but I do feel a bit anxious to move onto the next page.
We have a wonderful friend who sailed around the world with his wife and has been lending us his videos of all his travels to keep us inspired. We're like a bunch of junkies, every night we get our dinner and tune into our 'next adventure' , it's wonderful. I do look forward to though when we are no longer living vicariously and are filming our own story. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a fantasy land between all these videos and the many many blogs I follow of sailing families. It all seems so real, and so doable. I so look forward to taking that final step of moving on the boat and focusing our energy there.
Gordon is working steadily on the fridge, he's taken some pics I just haven't gotten a hold of them yet. So we'll have some project pics up soon for you guys. He's definitely done a custom job on it and I think it's going to turn out beautiful. It amazes we what he can create, not only does he have a brilliant mind but he's not to shabby of a carpenter either ;)
Well now that I've got this course under my belt, I can focus again on streamlining the house and organizing as much as possible. One of these days a renter is going to work out! For now I'll just enjoy my celebratory glass of wine :)
Lately I feel like a sout piel (I am loosely using this Afrikaans slang word ) which is (my interpretation) when you have each foot firmly planted in a different land mass and your whoo haa dangling in the water. We are steadily working away on our to do list, one for the boat the other for the house. Somehow though, you just feel spread way too thin..... streeeeeetching with each foot firmly planted in different places. Making you feel pretty vunerable though with your do dads dipping in that cold water. I just want to slide my feet together, create a new little island to stand on (warm those bad boys up) and live conciously in ONE place, so I can fully appreciate it for all it has to offer. I do feel so grateful for the beautiful house we live in and all the wonderful comforts it provides, but I do feel a bit anxious to move onto the next page.
We have a wonderful friend who sailed around the world with his wife and has been lending us his videos of all his travels to keep us inspired. We're like a bunch of junkies, every night we get our dinner and tune into our 'next adventure' , it's wonderful. I do look forward to though when we are no longer living vicariously and are filming our own story. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a fantasy land between all these videos and the many many blogs I follow of sailing families. It all seems so real, and so doable. I so look forward to taking that final step of moving on the boat and focusing our energy there.
Gordon is working steadily on the fridge, he's taken some pics I just haven't gotten a hold of them yet. So we'll have some project pics up soon for you guys. He's definitely done a custom job on it and I think it's going to turn out beautiful. It amazes we what he can create, not only does he have a brilliant mind but he's not to shabby of a carpenter either ;)
Well now that I've got this course under my belt, I can focus again on streamlining the house and organizing as much as possible. One of these days a renter is going to work out! For now I'll just enjoy my celebratory glass of wine :)
Friday, October 15, 2010
~This Moment~
~This Moment ~ via SouleMama
Logan celebrating with his Mama after her first race post pregnancy/baby (Royal Vic 8K)
Logan celebrating with his Mama after her first race post pregnancy/baby (Royal Vic 8K)
My psychic ability eludes me, so it seems
Well, I sure thought I had it all figured out ;) ! I should know better by now. Our potential renter actually rented another house, so there goes that plan. It just seemed like everything was lining up for us, as we know everything happens for a reason, and it will happen for us all in due time. What was all that fluid talk last post? I guess I better start thinking watery thoughts. We continue to plug away at our to do list, both here and at the house. We are currently taking a course for our Marine Radio License and take our test on Tuesday, it'll feel so good to have that under my belt. The more I learn the more confident I feel. I do have to admit though, we have a bit of a 'Cowboy' as one of our instructors who LOVES to tell horrific stories and had me a bit unnerved by the end of class. Gord had to talk me down and talk me through all the stories our Cowboy had so freely unleashed on us. Guess he didn't realize he had such sensitive souls on board ;)! Well I better go study, hoping to beat Gord on this exam ... hehehe
Friday, October 8, 2010
Feels like I'm at the top of a roller coaster just waiting to drop ......
My chest is tight and I'm not sure if it's fear, excitement, anticipation, sadness... everything is such a muddled mess right now. But for better or for worse HERE WE GO! I've picked up the house and am anxiously awaiting our "potential renter" to come over and take a look at the house. He's looking for 6 months to a year at least. We're figuring we'll negotiate and hopefully make it work. He is a coworker and has a young family. It would be perfect for us, we'd much rather rent to someone we know, plus we're hoping to negotiate that we have access to our garage for storage purposes. We're willing to rent fully furnished, so I'm hoping they'll want to keep most of it (less work for us)! We still have lots to do on the boat but with the relief of the monthly mortgage it'll definitely make it easier to get things done faster. We also have a friend who has offered his fully furnished basement apartment to us anytime we need a place to crash (during boat project, bad storms or cabin fever). It is a very generous offer, and I have to admit it's nice to know if all hell broke loose we'd have a place to go at the drop of a hat.
I feel so blessed, we are surrounded by so many wonderful friends here. Feels like everyone is willing to do whatever it takes to help us along our journey. Feels like even though we keep trying to put this on the back burner, doors keep opening for us. We'll see how the meeting works out today.....
Little one is awake, will update tonight!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
We didn't drown or kill each other.... just a lazy author ;)
Wow, I've really got to get better at updating things here. Well we made it successfully a little over 2 weeks on the boat, and learned a lot. Our intended 1 month was interrupted by an impromtu trip to see a friend and take in the 'Power to the Peaceful' concert in San Francisco ( Just HAD to go see our man Michael Franti!!) We did feel though that the 2 weeks had sufficiently answered the questions at hand.... could we handle living together in a small space, how would Logan handle it, and what were the main things that needed to be fixed in order to truly make it livable.
To sum it up, the space (though will definitely take some getting used to) is definitely doable and didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. You kind of get into a groove. The one saving grace was definitely was the beautiful weather we had and that the cockpit could be used as living space. I loved the morning, sun shining down, reading, sipping coffee, or doing yoga. So incredibly peaceful. When winter comes it'll be a different story, but I think you'd just use different coping mechanisms (sign up for indoor activities for Logan so he can get the ants out of his pants... he's started walking now and is a force to be reckoned with. God help me when he learns how to run!) Using the gym more often, hanging out at friends houses. The rain never stopped us from getting out for runs and stuff but the little guy will need some space to stretch. When it came to all of our stuff, we'll definitely have to be selective about what we bring on board... man that closet is small!! But a few nice quality things and we'll be good to go. I realized I really don't worry about what I'm wearing etc. until I'm around people who REALLY care, but luckily I'm old enough now to be comfortable with what I feel is important, instead of feeling bad about myself because I can't compete with the many facets of 'The Jones' out there. A small storage space will be a must though for special family things / documents and such.
Logan of course did amazingly well. It did take him some time to adjust to sleeping in the main salon in his fancy dancy berth, so a few nights w/ frequent waking but finally he got comfortable with his surroundings. We made some black out clothes for the portholes that were letting way too much light in and they worked beautifully. I did win the 'Bad Mommy' award though when after a week of frequent wakings I was trying to let his 'work it out on his own' a bit. But after 15 minutes and the screaming progressively got louder and louder I thought maybe he had a nightmare or was scared because of the rain/wind storm we were having. I FINALLY went to him, picked him up.... and he was soaking wet head to toe and freezing cold! I hadn't checked the portholes (they were closed but unfortunately not tightened down enough) and his entire bed was soaked with rain water. I felt so terrible. We quickly changed him and he got a free ticket to sleep with his Mama for the rest of the night. He settled down and was back asleep as soon as snuggled in next to me, but man did I feel horrible! Other than that , and one good bonk he was a happy little clam. He is an absolute monkey though and knows how to climb up the stairs in the companionway in a heartbeat. We need to figure out something to keep him down, very difficult to do the dishes when he's trying jump IN the sink, or cook when he's up trying to stand on the counters.
So that leads us to the "must have's " list:
1. We need a regular stove (we were using a Coleman 2 burner propane stove), that is gimbled and has those prongy things that keep pots on the stovetop. I don't like to cook when there is no one to keep their eyes on Logan. I have nightmares of something falling on him and burning him. So it makes it tricky when you have a crazy schedule in general w/ baby in tow and then not be able to cook/ fix meals when he is awake. So much already has to be crammed into his nap times.
2. We need a working ice box/fridge. We were packing in 4 bags of ice a day. We found our icebox was only efficient at barely cooling the veggies, and then had to use a big cooler to store any truly perishable items. Gord is working on replacing it now and is almost finished. I'll post some pics when he's done!
3. We will need some sort of protective covering for the winter. Being able to use the cock pit as liveable/ useable space is absolutely invaluable when space is an issue.
4. A shower would be just divine, I guess technically I can use the marina showers but man it'd be REALLY nice. Not to use on a daily basis but in case of dirty bird emergencies. I had a stretch of 4 days where I was unable to take a shower (working out/ running in between days talk about smelly!) I really tried to be resourceful, went to my house - city maintenance had turned off all water, went to gym - baby freaked out in childminding and had to go home to take a nap, hubby at work- no one to watch L while I'm in shower = one DIRTY Mama serving dinner to our guest after 4 days of no shower. I know it was all a matter of circumstance and normally one of those options could have worked out, but for us with little ones, nap time is our saving grace and is usually our only time to take care of such things. It's high on my list anyway!
So we both left the boat feeling like we just need to 'take the plunge' , that it is truly what we want and that we need to make it happen. We had decided to work on projects this winter (both house and boat) to get them both ready. We had vacilated a million times, do we rent , do we sell (now / later). We're so excited about the new venture, but then it all seems a bit overwhelming when you actually look at the To Do list. It will be interesting to see what happens, we made our final decision to stay in the house for the winter, but we keep getting a call about an interested renter, so we've scheduled a meeting next week to see if we can meet each others needs, who knows maybe we'll be on the boat before you know it.
I have to admit there are days I am ready to just sail away, and others I am paralyzed by fear, doubt, and of the unknown. So many questions, so many we'll never be able to answer unless we just do it. It reminds me a lot of childbirth/ raising children, we try to plan plan plan for something that is unpredictable just so we can say we're prepared. When in the end, we just need to let go, be fluid and trust in ourselves that we have the strength, the love and the courage to be all that our hearts yearns to be.
I stand in awe (or angst) of our own story sometimes, feeling like I'm reading a novel, anxiously awaiting to devour the next page, or fearful of the struggles ahead, wondering what will make us 'finally take the plunge'. Well this next page I could have never imagined, but I think it is the final push. We recently got news that one of our best friends was killed by a drunk driver. This is a man who absolutely lived life to the fullest, devoured life and sat back with a smile, illuminated all that was good and beautiful. He was someone you truly did just watch in awe just waiting to see the story unfold knowing of anyone HE would have an amazing story. And he did, no day was taken for granted, he loved his friends without regard... open arms, an open heart and a huge smile for all to see. I have never been so close to such a tragic event, so broken hearted. But I do feel as though his energy has been channeled back into the universe and to us, giving us that push. Amongst all the sadness and heartache, there is a subtle sense of calm, I suddenly do not feel scared, attached or alone. I want my story to be full of life, of challenge and engaging with all of those around me. So that no matter when my story ends, it will be a life fulfilled.
Bry you will be in our every sparkling sunset, every full moon, and every breath we take ~ you are an inspiration and a beautiful light for all the world to see. It is your light that will illuminate our way. Thank you for such a precious gift, we love you.
To sum it up, the space (though will definitely take some getting used to) is definitely doable and didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. You kind of get into a groove. The one saving grace was definitely was the beautiful weather we had and that the cockpit could be used as living space. I loved the morning, sun shining down, reading, sipping coffee, or doing yoga. So incredibly peaceful. When winter comes it'll be a different story, but I think you'd just use different coping mechanisms (sign up for indoor activities for Logan so he can get the ants out of his pants... he's started walking now and is a force to be reckoned with. God help me when he learns how to run!) Using the gym more often, hanging out at friends houses. The rain never stopped us from getting out for runs and stuff but the little guy will need some space to stretch. When it came to all of our stuff, we'll definitely have to be selective about what we bring on board... man that closet is small!! But a few nice quality things and we'll be good to go. I realized I really don't worry about what I'm wearing etc. until I'm around people who REALLY care, but luckily I'm old enough now to be comfortable with what I feel is important, instead of feeling bad about myself because I can't compete with the many facets of 'The Jones' out there. A small storage space will be a must though for special family things / documents and such.
Logan of course did amazingly well. It did take him some time to adjust to sleeping in the main salon in his fancy dancy berth, so a few nights w/ frequent waking but finally he got comfortable with his surroundings. We made some black out clothes for the portholes that were letting way too much light in and they worked beautifully. I did win the 'Bad Mommy' award though when after a week of frequent wakings I was trying to let his 'work it out on his own' a bit. But after 15 minutes and the screaming progressively got louder and louder I thought maybe he had a nightmare or was scared because of the rain/wind storm we were having. I FINALLY went to him, picked him up.... and he was soaking wet head to toe and freezing cold! I hadn't checked the portholes (they were closed but unfortunately not tightened down enough) and his entire bed was soaked with rain water. I felt so terrible. We quickly changed him and he got a free ticket to sleep with his Mama for the rest of the night. He settled down and was back asleep as soon as snuggled in next to me, but man did I feel horrible! Other than that , and one good bonk he was a happy little clam. He is an absolute monkey though and knows how to climb up the stairs in the companionway in a heartbeat. We need to figure out something to keep him down, very difficult to do the dishes when he's trying jump IN the sink, or cook when he's up trying to stand on the counters.
So that leads us to the "must have's " list:
1. We need a regular stove (we were using a Coleman 2 burner propane stove), that is gimbled and has those prongy things that keep pots on the stovetop. I don't like to cook when there is no one to keep their eyes on Logan. I have nightmares of something falling on him and burning him. So it makes it tricky when you have a crazy schedule in general w/ baby in tow and then not be able to cook/ fix meals when he is awake. So much already has to be crammed into his nap times.
2. We need a working ice box/fridge. We were packing in 4 bags of ice a day. We found our icebox was only efficient at barely cooling the veggies, and then had to use a big cooler to store any truly perishable items. Gord is working on replacing it now and is almost finished. I'll post some pics when he's done!
3. We will need some sort of protective covering for the winter. Being able to use the cock pit as liveable/ useable space is absolutely invaluable when space is an issue.
4. A shower would be just divine, I guess technically I can use the marina showers but man it'd be REALLY nice. Not to use on a daily basis but in case of dirty bird emergencies. I had a stretch of 4 days where I was unable to take a shower (working out/ running in between days talk about smelly!) I really tried to be resourceful, went to my house - city maintenance had turned off all water, went to gym - baby freaked out in childminding and had to go home to take a nap, hubby at work- no one to watch L while I'm in shower = one DIRTY Mama serving dinner to our guest after 4 days of no shower. I know it was all a matter of circumstance and normally one of those options could have worked out, but for us with little ones, nap time is our saving grace and is usually our only time to take care of such things. It's high on my list anyway!
So we both left the boat feeling like we just need to 'take the plunge' , that it is truly what we want and that we need to make it happen. We had decided to work on projects this winter (both house and boat) to get them both ready. We had vacilated a million times, do we rent , do we sell (now / later). We're so excited about the new venture, but then it all seems a bit overwhelming when you actually look at the To Do list. It will be interesting to see what happens, we made our final decision to stay in the house for the winter, but we keep getting a call about an interested renter, so we've scheduled a meeting next week to see if we can meet each others needs, who knows maybe we'll be on the boat before you know it.
I have to admit there are days I am ready to just sail away, and others I am paralyzed by fear, doubt, and of the unknown. So many questions, so many we'll never be able to answer unless we just do it. It reminds me a lot of childbirth/ raising children, we try to plan plan plan for something that is unpredictable just so we can say we're prepared. When in the end, we just need to let go, be fluid and trust in ourselves that we have the strength, the love and the courage to be all that our hearts yearns to be.
I stand in awe (or angst) of our own story sometimes, feeling like I'm reading a novel, anxiously awaiting to devour the next page, or fearful of the struggles ahead, wondering what will make us 'finally take the plunge'. Well this next page I could have never imagined, but I think it is the final push. We recently got news that one of our best friends was killed by a drunk driver. This is a man who absolutely lived life to the fullest, devoured life and sat back with a smile, illuminated all that was good and beautiful. He was someone you truly did just watch in awe just waiting to see the story unfold knowing of anyone HE would have an amazing story. And he did, no day was taken for granted, he loved his friends without regard... open arms, an open heart and a huge smile for all to see. I have never been so close to such a tragic event, so broken hearted. But I do feel as though his energy has been channeled back into the universe and to us, giving us that push. Amongst all the sadness and heartache, there is a subtle sense of calm, I suddenly do not feel scared, attached or alone. I want my story to be full of life, of challenge and engaging with all of those around me. So that no matter when my story ends, it will be a life fulfilled.
Bry you will be in our every sparkling sunset, every full moon, and every breath we take ~ you are an inspiration and a beautiful light for all the world to see. It is your light that will illuminate our way. Thank you for such a precious gift, we love you.
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